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Now married, can you imagine being single? - 7/23/2010 3:02:24 PM
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Alan19
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One of the comments a single person frequently hears from those who are married is how they "can't imagine" why someone could enjoy being single.
I'm curious, is it really that hard to imagine? Or is that something that people just say?
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RE: Now married, can you imagine being single? - 7/23/2010 3:13:35 PM
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theprincessbuttercup
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I have been married 16 years....but I do remember being single, and there were definitely things to enjoy. If I were still single, I would hope that I would enjoy the life God had for me. When I think about being single, I don't like the idea because A) It would take divorce or widowhood for me to be there and B) the idea of ever having to go through dating again makes me ill - because it was stressful the first time around - ha ha.
Being a single Christian can be a wonderful thing and can mean many opportunities. It also means things like - I do not have physical intimacy with another person....because it's sin. And yes, that would be hard - just being honest here. I also love being a mother, and without intimacy....I wouldn't have any children. So those are things I would definitely miss too.
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RE: Now married, can you imagine being single? - 7/23/2010 3:27:55 PM
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canafford
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Alan19
... "can't imagine" why someone could enjoy being single.
I'm curious, is it really that hard to imagine? Or is that something that people just say?
That statement seems a bit exteme and probably really is just something (ignorant) that people say. It almost implies that the state of singleness is unbearable/torturous, which is isn't. Being married shouldn't suddenly "turn you against" the idea of singleness, nor should it make you question how someone who is single can enjoy their singleness. I'm pretty sure that we're supposed to learn to be content "whatever state we're in".
Now that I'm married, I would never want to be single again for the same reasons that 'theprincessbuttercup' voiced, NOT because being single was a horrible experience. If I were you, I wouldn't give much weight to statements like the ones in your OP.
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RE: Now married, can you imagine being single? - 7/23/2010 3:44:52 PM
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crankius
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I'm happily married. But I thoroughly enjoyed my single life, and could easily imagine being single.
There are good and bad in both...so long as you are serving the Lord and walking with Him, that's what makes either one a joy.
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Do not be overly righteous, Nor be overly wise: Why should you destroy yourself?
Ecclesiastes 7:16
God's Attributes
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RE: Now married, can you imagine being single? - 7/23/2010 4:26:30 PM
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deermousie
Posts: 2742
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Alan19
One of the comments a single person frequently hears from those who are married is how they "can't imagine" why someone could enjoy being single.
Sounds pretty thoughtless to say that.
I was single until my later 30s, and I had a blast. I've traveled around the world several times and spent summers in exotic places. I had a profession that let me be financially independent and could go where I wanted and spend what I wanted (within reason; I'm frugal by nature). I wanted to break in a new engine in my car so a girlfriend and I (I'm a gal, by the way) drove it to the Canadian Rockies and went backpacking and fishing. I discipled high school kids in my church for many years and kept them hopping (the duck drills in my car were famous).
I can't imagine why a single person couldn't have a good life.
_____________________________
People died to give you the Bible in your language.
Read it. Eat it. Dwell in it. Rightly divide it. Live it.
Laugh, dance, praise your God, and go read some more. And God bless you.
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RE: Now married, can you imagine being single? - 7/24/2010 12:33:44 PM
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jn1010lf
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Hello Alan19
Most of the time, I can't imagine being single. I would hate to fork over a lot of money for a massage. (joke) There are many other reasons, though.
Every time my wife and I have a disagreement about something, I imagine how single life would entail freedom - do what I want, when I want and as long as I want. But then, I'd have no reason to want anything.
I suppose all men look back to the time in which they were fance free. It's our nature. We're not very maternal. We don't go gaga over babies, shopping and gossip. (Ladies, don't read this)
But finally, on a scale of 1 to 10, I would rate marriage a 10, if you've found the right one. If not, well, the taste factor would lower, maybe to 0, depending on how wrong the woman was.
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RE: Now married, can you imagine being single? - 7/24/2010 4:26:17 PM
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Alan19
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quote:
ORIGINAL: jn1010lf
I imagine how single life would entail freedom - do what I want, when I want and as long as I want. But then, I'd have no reason to want anything.
Well, you might want to alter your imagination a bit. Even when you're single you still have responsibilities....to your job, to your family, to the Church and various organizations, etc...so you're not exactly free when you're not married. And in some ways you're less free: You don't have a spouse to do the things you can't or don't want to do. And you have no one else to depend on if, say, you lose your job.
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RE: Now married, can you imagine being single? - 7/24/2010 5:11:24 PM
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theprincessbuttercup
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quote:
You don't have a spouse to do the things you can't or don't want to do.
This made me giggle.
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(My avatar is my daughter's artwork!)
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RE: Now married, can you imagine being single? - 7/24/2010 5:22:21 PM
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karlie
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I never imagine my life as a single, because I am not anymore. It wouldn't even be productive to imagine being single because I have no desire or plans to be! But, I can imagine what it would be like should I ever lose my husband. I would still be me...I would still have my children, my work, my church, my friends, and most importantly, my faith in God. I would be lonely, and miss him forever, but I can imagine that my life would go on and I would adjust and eventually be okay, just as my husband would if he lost me.
But do I imagine life being single as being something preferable to marriage? Never. I am perfectly happy being married and hope I will be til I'm 120!
_____________________________
When we're at the end of ourselves, that's the place where God truly is.
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RE: Now married, can you imagine being single? - 7/24/2010 7:23:34 PM
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realist_man
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Actually, I was a lot happier when I was single, so, if anything, I envy single people rather than pity them.
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RE: Now married, can you imagine being single? - 7/24/2010 8:08:40 PM
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Simway
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Well , having been married for so long, I can remember being single. That was when it was me, I did what I wanted and when. I spent my money the way I wanted, not always wisely. Being married I learned soon, that money had to go to bills, food, rent, whatever.Also I had to learn to think of someone else besides myself. Then all came my daughers, and then that made three others to think of, and provide for. Now if I hadn't got married I would not have the daugthers, or four grand kids, and I suppose to a large extent I would be a lonely person, not sure, but it's a good feeling having family of my own, sense I've reached almost 69. Now then , do it over at this age ....no way....I'm too close to the end of life to take on another wife, and have to adjust to living with someone and learning their likes and dislikes, and all the rest.
Simway
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RE: Now married, can you imagine being single? - 7/24/2010 8:56:35 PM
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jaimestarcross
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quote:
I'm curious, is it really that hard to imagine? Or is that something that people just say?
*Like deermousie, I enjoyed my singleness -- that is after I landed a job that allowed me to travel, live good
and give generously to the church I attended.
I"m enjoying my married life also, my hubby is the best!
When we were both enjoying good health... oh boy, oh boy! did we have really great times! Woo Hoo!!!
_____________________________
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"A world of nice people, content in their own niceness, looking no further, turned away from God, would be just as desperately in need of salvation as a miserable world---and might be even more difficult to save."
C.S. Lewis
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RE: Now married, can you imagine being single? - 7/25/2010 8:22:33 AM
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car2ner
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When I was single I enjoyed being single. I didn't dream about getting married. I did enjoy meeting interesting guys. At one time I was swept off my feet by a fellow and the break up stung pretty bad, but it was the right thing to do. I shouldn't have let myself get involved with him in the first place.
Now I am married and I am very glad. If something happened to him and I became single again I would not hurry to find a new husband. m'love would be a tough act to follow.
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RE: Now married, can you imagine being single? - 7/26/2010 6:36:15 AM
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DaveW
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I never enjoyed being single at all. And I was committed to staying single for my whole life.
I can imagine being single now. In the same way I can imagine being shot or being thrown out of a plane.
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RE: Now married, can you imagine being single? - 7/26/2010 9:44:38 AM
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buckifn
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Not hard to imagine at all. I adjusted to being single again after losing my first spouse passed away and know I could do it again...doesn't mean I want to...just know there are levels of enjoyment from both perspectives.
If I ever find myself single again I am quite sure one way I would spend a lot more time is participating in longer mission trips and travel in general.
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RE: Now married, can you imagine being single? - 7/26/2010 11:08:02 AM
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Alan19
Posts: 112
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Simway
Well , having been married for so long, I can remember being single. That was when it was me, I did what I wanted and when. I spent my money the way I wanted, not always wisely. Being married I learned soon, that money had to go to bills, food, rent, whatever.Also I had to learn to think of someone else besides myself.
I always find this interesting...when you're single, don't you have to pay for food, rent, etc.? You certainly can't always spend money the way you want. Or do what you want either...if I wanted to run off to Mexico today I think my employer might object. My fellow employees might object too. Which means I can't not take other people into consideration.
So I read accounts like this and I wonder what sort of single life this is. And I think it comes down to this:
When people imagine being single, people imagine what life was like for them years back before they were married; they don't think about what it would be like to be single at their present age.
Which I think explains all the references to being "carefree". If you married at, say, 22, right out of college, you imagine being single as like being in college or high school. You don't imagine being single as being 40 with a full time job, mortgage, position on the church council, etc...even though that's a reality for plenty of people.
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RE: Now married, can you imagine being single? - 7/26/2010 4:45:53 PM
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mj2008
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Loved being single and love being married. I married when I was 30 years old and I was ready for my husband, therefore I don't want to be single again. I did single in the Lord very well and God gave me the desires of my heart in my husband.
One is not better that the other, it is just the journey and living for Jesus with all of your heart single and then joining your partner and continued to serve him now as a team.
It is great and i quite enjoy it.
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RE: Now married, can you imagine being single? - 7/26/2010 9:59:51 PM
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APZR
Posts: 1007
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Hmmm, yes I can imagine it...
Sitting in my undies watching TV, eating pizza straight out of the box, drinking Orange Crush straight from the bottle and putting it back in the fridge, letting the Roomba do all the floor sweeping, scrubbing toilets only after they grow a nice fuzzy ring at the water line, using a laundry service as I do not do laundry, traveling more, a lot more money in the bank....
and bored as all get out missing my own family to grow old with. 
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Ya can't keep trouble from visitin, but you don't have to offer it a chair.
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RE: Now married, can you imagine being single? - 7/27/2010 3:56:04 PM
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Alan19
Posts: 112
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quote:
ORIGINAL: APZR
Hmmm, yes I can imagine it...
Sitting in my undies watching TV, eating pizza straight out of the box, drinking Orange Crush straight from the bottle and putting it back in the fridge, letting the Roomba do all the floor sweeping, scrubbing toilets only after they grow a nice fuzzy ring at the water line, using a laundry service as I do not do laundry, traveling more, a lot more money in the bank....
and bored as all get out missing my own family to grow old with.
Umm, you might want to read my post #18.
Unless you intend this post as a joke.
Just wondering since you managed to include just about every insulting single stereotype there is.
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RE: Now married, can you imagine being single? - 7/27/2010 5:54:23 PM
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makarizo
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quote:
ORIGINAL: realist_man
Actually, I was a lot happier when I was single, so, if anything, I envy single people rather than pity them.
as a single person, I think I hear this more than I hear what the OP said... in fact, just last week I heard "I am married now, so I will stick with it, but if I had to do it all over again, I never would have would have gotten married"
from someone you would have never imagined.
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RE: Now married, can you imagine being single? - 7/27/2010 6:00:38 PM
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Consecrated2God
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Sometimes I try and imagine what it would be like. Sometimes when I'm cleaning up hairs in the sink that my husband didn't clean up after he trimmed his beard I think, "Boy, if I were single, I wouldn't have to put up with this!"  But then other times when he's there for me, taking care of me when I need him, I'm so glad I don't have to take care of everything on my own.
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Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.
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RE: Now married, can you imagine being single? - 7/27/2010 8:23:27 PM
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AlwaysR8chel
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quote:
ORIGINAL: car2ner
If something happened to him and I became single again I would not hurry to find a new husband. m'love would be a tough act to follow.
.
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...... agreed. Well.... you know what I mean! 
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צוּר On God my salvation and my glory rest; The rock of my strength, my refuge is in God.
Psalms 62:7 NASB
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RE: Now married, can you imagine being single? - 7/28/2010 9:16:38 AM
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Consecrated2God
Posts: 5174
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quote:
ORIGINAL: AlwaysR8chel
quote:
ORIGINAL: car2ner
If something happened to him and I became single again I would not hurry to find a new husband. m'love would be a tough act to follow.
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...... agreed. Well.... you know what I mean!
Same here.
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Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.
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